so many injokes XD

ανяιℓ ✩ says (00:35):
boooooored
tell me a story
Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:35):
real or made up? XD

ανяιℓ ✩ says (00:35):
any

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:37):
one day clive the plant and his brother bertrand were doing plant stuff
when suddenly

ανяιℓ ✩ says (00:37):
:O
Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:37):
bertrand gets kidnapped

ανяιℓ ✩ says (00:37):
noooo

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:37):
by a supervillain called mr dust

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:38):
mr dust vanished in.... well dust
clive was sad
he then noticed a trail of glitter that mr dust had left behind and started to follow it

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:39):
it lead to a big unworldly place called castle donnington
clive was scared of this place but kept on as he needed to save bertrand

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:40):
bertrand in the meanwhile was being subject to reverse photosynthesis and the dog from the andrex advert telling him he isnt aloe vera enough to make tissues

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:41):
clive was seconds from giving up but then a nice shelf called woody helped him

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:42):
woody had seen dust take clive to a cave
woody and clive went on and found dust and clive
there ensued an epic battle
dust sent out foz to attack woody
but foz ended up romancing the shelf instead

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:43):
it was up to clive to free bertrand
clive summoned lots of bees with his delightful flowerz

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:44):
and mr dust got stuck in all their honey
being dusty, he couldnt escape from the honey
clive got bertrand and they ran

Zebrai panasus i arklius, devincius pizamas says (00:45):
2 weeks later they attended fozzies and woodys wedding
the end#
totaaly true story

B-B-B-B-B-B-BUSYBUSYBUSY.

SATURDAYYYY: get up at 4:30 and go to the London Expo YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D

SUNDAYYYY: gay pride in city centre and survival sunday AND MOST IMPORTANTLY last steve claridge show of the season NOOOOOOOOOOO :(

MONDAYYYY: no work (YAY) and PATRICK WOLF OMFGFGFGFGFGFG

TUESDAY - THURSDAY: GEEKERY

FRIDAYYYY: wedding ew omfg ew Aldrige too close to Walsall for my liking. ew.


yes to me this is a busy week XD

Ive listened to too much dananananananananannananananana and took a very orange pic of myself. thats all ive done in what? 6 hours?

failure XD

going to fucking bed omg


brb in like 3 hours probs XDXDXDXD

Watching news at 7am is fun. More fun than any other time of the day, im suprised im up cos usually its like "Half-ten?! Half-ten?! I've never been up at half-ten! What happens?". They seem SO enthusiastic about it the news in the twilight hours XD. SNP won over another important seat - Yayyyyy. Labour cunts deserve it.

Being stalking Black Books all morning. Bernard Black is quite literally the best person to have never lived.

My oven can cook bits of oven!

(to Manny) According to Freud, it's dangerous even to be in the same room as you. We'll have to replace all our cutlery with plastic. And then I want to get you electronically tagged.

Don't you ever use party as a verb in my shop!

Manny: Is space hot?
Bernard: Of course it is, where do you think we get pineapples from?

No one needs sofas that eat you!

Bernard: Perhaps you'd like me to put the price down.
Customer: Well I was thinking two pounds.
Bernard: Because three pounds is just naked profiteering? For a book, a mere... 912 pages long? What'll I do with that extra pound? I'll add an acre to the grounds. I'll chuck some more koi carp in my piano-shaped pond. No, I know, I'll build a wing on the National Gallery with my name on it.
Customer: £2.50.
Bernard: That's more like it. Now you're being reasonable. (Grabs book) £2.50 gets you (rips a bunch of pages out of the book and hands the rest of the book back to the customer) this much. The rest when you come back with the other 50p.
Customer: But...
Bernard: Thank you!
(later on)
Customer: I have to have the rest of that book! Here's that 50p.
Bernard: (holding the rest of the book) Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I was thinking £15.
Customer: What?
Bernard: No, you're right. 25.

(wearing an accordion) Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this either, but I thought it would be less obvious. So if you could just kind of stand there and look wistful

I DO NOT want this house infected with the speciman capable of creating you.

Add a dab of lavender to your milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Manny: What are you eating?
Bernard: It's some sort of delicious biscuit!
Manny: It's a coaster.
Bernard: Is it? Are there any more?

...very well, how are you? Well actually I'm dead. I'm haunting you, that's what I'm doing! What? You can't hang up on the undead!!

So I go to the toilet in your wicker chair, it's a faux pas.

Gerald: (to Bernard) Oh you remember Jimbo, don't you?
Bernard: I'm not sure... (to Jimbo) What do you do?
Gerald: No, he's our son.
Bernard: Oh thank god. I thought you had a disease! It's a child!

I'm talking about Manny. You know? Manny? The fruit store whom I happen to live with?

Friends? Out? With? Some? Let me smell your breath. I thought so! Chips! Where are my chips?! Look at your clothes, they're all rumpled. What have you been doing? Is that lipstick on your beard?! Here I am, worrying myself away into a stick, in the dark, and you're scoffing chips in some tart's lap. Where's my tart?! I want chips and tart! Get up them stairs!

Fran: (to Bernard) You bastard! You nine-sided whore!

Bernard: Roweena! Roweeeeena! And what am I supposed to do while you're doing the underpants charleston with this insane, blind tart?
Manny: Why are you getting so angry?
Bernard: I can't help being angry when I'm furious! So, before you go off to raise your bearded freak circus, what's she like?
Manny: She's nice.
Bernard: She's nice, she- dont make me sick into my own scorn. What are her prospects? Does she play the viola? Does she embroider? Is she kind to the servants?
Manny: I don't know. All I know is I like her and there's a good chance that she likes me.
Bernard: [Later] Well, we're going to this party because I'm trying to picture this girl who likes you and all I can see is you in a dress.



oh god theres so many more i could put here